IT'S MY LIFE ! ! ! ! ! !

I try to venture into a world , not mine:
Neglected, unaccepted i desperately try to shine.
I crave for love , i look for a mate
But i've been left alone , 'they' have decided my fate!

Darkness stands by me
Loneliness soothes my pain;
'They' spat on me and had left
As i stand alone in the rain!
Smiles had been wiped out ,love forbidden
to enter me; Happiness lay hidden
far beneath me ~~
I ask my mind "Why?"
Speechless, it answers in just a sigh:
Betrayal is what i've been gifted
From life,I had long drifted.
Tears run down my eyes
and wet my body`
Heart still beats incessantly
in me,a corpse formed a;ready !

What if I am like this?
What if I am not like 'them'?
Why do 'I' need to change?
To these, 'they' only smile
and force me to walk mile after mile
ALONE ! !

I am the CHOSEN ONE --- 'they' justify:
chosen to pacify others,to be the ONE 'they' can rely.
But I say "NO"!
I am chosen to suffer , to cry;
Chosen tobe suppressed every time i try,
Chosen to accept tears and gloom
Leading my life to a devastating doom!

i still desperately try to venture
but again,i'm naturally neglected and kicked out
of LIFE , itself ! !

REALISATION REFLECTED

I met my reflection that day,
looking at me in a strange way
as if asking "Who are you?"
Shocked,I replied "I am you!!!"
But behind those brown eyes
that were supposedly mine--
I didn't see any joy arise;
There came no shine!
Rather they scoffed back at me
questioning,"How could that be?"
Justifying, i said "My virtual self is what you are!"
"Is it?That's why you left me so far?"
An accusation ! ! A blame!
How dare it? REVENGE!!
I rebuked "you dont realise yourself? O what a shame!"
I thought to have set its ego aflame.
Surprisingly,it burst into laughter
and mocked "O my dear friend! you claim to be my master!
my real self??my reflaection??
With dignity so low and confidence nil
You find us alike, still?
How can you be so insensitive?
I think good but you are always negative!
i do realise myself,and so i try
Even before facing,you cry.
a fraud is what you are.
To me ,you're nothing but a failure"

Taken aback,i fell silent.
I have changed--i could now see.
But,can't figure out what actually i wanna be!
I was alone amidst thousands
Bothered about people who least deserve me..
I promise to get back,happy is what i wanna be.
Somehow. . .

I met reflection yesterday
Smiling at me in a familiar way
as if asking "Where have you been?
For so long, that smile i hadn't seen."
Behind those brown eyes
That were actually mine
I could see the excitement arise
There came a bright shine
Thanking,it said "It hurt to be alone
Far from you!
And it truly is ecstatic to be back home
in you~~~
My 'Real' Self !"

THE DAY I LIVED MY LIFE

on the soft green grass i lay,
listening to the crisp air say
a word of love tothe trees
which were dancing in the breeze
as if saying"i love u too.."

the sky above was so blue
clear with cloudlets so few.
all my tiredness were gone
with my tears wiped out,i was reborn.
i felt joy to my heart's content
as i could feel the tenderness of the moment.
the subtle beauty of time
the colours around~~ so bright,yet sublime
the bounty so very enthralled me
filled me with ecstacy and glee.

i was on the DREAMLAND EXPRESS
with a permanent smile hovering on my face
i headed towards the end of rainbow
the zephyr unruffled my hair
gifting me moments so very rare.
the birds' song sounded so soothing
the first time,i was living
careless,carefree....
with no worries to haunt--
no nightmares to taunt:
no one to be bothered about,
i felt so relaxed.

as i headed back home
i felt richer by experience
with the wonderfully spent instants
i felt divine.
longed to come back to this paradise
and let my emotions flow and mesmerise
and hold back the time for a while......