आखरी अलविदा

रात कि इस महफिल में
गूँज रही है खामोशी
इस आलम कि ऐसी है मदहोशी
आज नशा भी नशे में हैं!!

इसी रोज़ आस्मान के तले
चांदनी के चादर ओढे
बैठा हूँ मैं---
तन्हा!
इतना तन्हा, जैसे तन्हाई ने साथ छोड़ दिया हो।
बेहिसाब ज़िंदगी के भागम भाग में
ज़िंदगी बहुत पीछे छोड़ गया हैं मुझे
अकेला!

दो आँखें आज नम नहीं
फिर भी पलकें भारी लग रहे हैं;
चेहेरें पे अभी हैं मुस्कान
लेकिन दिल में कुछ चुभ रही हैं
बेज़ुबान लव्ज़ आज कहना चाहता है, कुछ
गुम हो गया था जो सुर कभी
आज वही साज़ छेड़ना चाहता है यह मन

चूमना चाहता हूँ वोही होंठ
जिसपे कभी मेरा नाम नहीं आया
छोना चाहता हूँ वह बदन
जिसके लिए कभी तड़पा हैं मेरा यह जिस्म;
महसूस करना चाहता हूँ वोही सासें
वोही गर्माहट, जो कभी मेरा नहीं हो पाया
बेशुमार प्यार करना चाहता हूँ, एकबार-एक आखरी बार
साथ बिताये हुए उन्ही लम्हों में खो जान चाहता हूँ
न जाने वह लम्हे कब वापस आये?

शायद यह मेरा आखरी अल्विदा हो!

NARROW ESCAPE

i dared to go out for a walk after a disturbed night. eyes were weary, body tired, yet i needed to breathe some fresh air. i stumbled against the door, but still i set my foot out. the morning air- the chill in it - completely erased the botherations of the past days. i felt somewhat relaxed. the throbbing of my head stopped, the taunt nerves relaxed, i got carried away. i responded to the beckon of mother nature and moved on . oblivious of the fact that i had gone far away, i kept moving as if i have set out to prove newton's first law of motion. the fog thinned and the radiance of the morning sun spread all over. the warmth of the day seeped in and i perspired.

i felt a jolt inside and as usual, i ignored it. but soon, my feet grew heavier and my steps staggered. i halted. my head had started spinning. brushing it away, i tried to drag myself on but it was to difficult for me to overcome the inertia. suddenly, i felt fatigued and immensely impuissant--rather weak. i hired a rickshaw to go back. as the three-wheeler pedalled forward, the air brushed against my face and ruffled through my hair. but i felt no better. for the first time , i experienced complete black-out. i could see nothing. i had been using the term 'blurred vision' in many of my poems--but realised it in full form, for the first time. a thick opaque curtain had fallen across my eyes, as if. i felt so numb. i had held to the seat but felt my grip loosen. my ears were blocked as if tympanum had decided not to vibrate. for the first time i found myself completely cut-off from the outside--which i frequently describe as 'mundane'. i could feel my body slumping on to one side and i fell unconscious. i was shaken back to full sense by a cry and shrill horn of the truck that had just sped past my body, half hanging out of the vehicle. i realised how it had just missed smashing my head. poor luck, truckie!

awed at the narro\w escape and even more surprised at my luck--i could not stop laughing. by then, i had started feeling better-the dizziness dying down. i could sit upright.

i thank you all people who p[ray for my welfare. your 'fariyad's worked wonders today. but i felt extremely bad. why?????????????
i had just missed "knocking on heaven's door"!

U n I

with every moment passing by

i started to rely

upon you!

with every hour that is spent together

promising to let our love end never

i have loved you !

with every day being enriched by your presence

filling my life life with happiness and magnificence

i have lived life with you!

and,

now with every word that i pen down for you

i feel more and more only for you!

[ had felt this for someone earlier

revisiting those areas of passion all over again, but for someone else !]

the morning hues

"no"----
i sat upright
holding onto my bed, tight -
my heart pounding within my ribs
hard.
a nightmare- so black, so scray, so real!
panting, i left the pillow
dragged my living self to the window
to drift my mind away~~

a glimpse of the outside sky
silenced my inner cry
almost instantly.
the black-n-blue-blend so vast
instrigated my 'wanderlust'
and so, into the garden i went
to enjoy the beauty to my heart's content.
the trees under the dawn's dim glow
beyond themthe ever rolling 'meadow'
of houses, all were silent;
until the crows cawed in the morn
ushering in the day--the new born.
but the fog wanted to a bit more 'mist'ic
and enjoy the silent magic
further!
it encroached on all
the ponds, the roads, the bricks in the wall--
how i wanted to have a sneak peak
though i was enjoying the hide n seek
with the white curtain!
the otherwise busy city lay still
as if enjoying the air- so very tranquil
living their leisure to the fullest.

suddenly, the fiery ball peeped in
from behind the clouds, where it had been,
the radiance made the moment so fine
the windows reflected its shine:
the early red gave way to the golden
pulling up the still bedridden
gifting them a very good morning!

the warmth slowly trickled in
and the dewdrops sparkled
refreshing the green.
the grass danced to the breeze
and i stood there at ease
comfy, relaxed and enjoying.
the nascent azure bathed the world
with the morning colours,
the magic set in as the flora unfurled
clearing the initial blurs!
the sweet chirps touched the earpore
colours brightwas what butterflies wore
to lighten the heavy hearts!


such was nature's bounty, so untarnished
that i was oblivious of the smile
that had come over my face,
wiping out the last trace
of what had waken me up, earlier.
the sunshine presented
smiles many and tears few
perhaps that was the charisma
of tha morning hue! !

drafted eternity

i had long wanted to feel you
touch you places forbidden
that lay hidden
from the world outside.
they so very enthral me
that i am often found dumb
the high valleys , the deep curves
have all excited my names
for ages;
but now, when i stand so near
with just the skin covering you up, my dear
i am tense.
the brownness of your body
took me so unready
that i lay startled

as you invited me in
to commit the original sin
i felt divine
as i kissed you from head to toe
with the greed growing more and more
you tasted like wine!
you were tender and hard was i
nerves were taunt as i made a try
to push open the curtain:

to get in there , you helped me out
with yourself wide spread out
carefully showing off the pink
it felt wet and mild
turned on , i felt wild
to the extreme
my maleness throbbed
as you robbed
me of my calm
.

you were biting on to my pride
i felt power inside
and felt brave and dared
to fill in you myself

your body shivered and you moaned
in joyful pain, when you groaned
i fell in love again
as you lay by me much quiet
after the prowl and hunt
just like a resting lionness
i thanked God for His grace
to have given me this moment-
the moment of eternal pleasure
the moment i would always treasure
.
the moment of extreme emotions
the moment of pure devotion
the moment of complete belonging to you
the moment of my life