FAREWELL

“Take your time and decide. . .”
“I’ve already decided”, the interruption buzzed into Neil’s ears.
Amir continued, “We will exchange a few words but I find it impossible to drag our relation beyond that.”
‘Drag’? ‘Impossible’? Did he actually speak those words? ‘It is not possible’ would have been relatively soothing than the direct ‘impossible’.
“Pardon?”, Neil’s brain could not register what Amir had just said.
“This relation is unworkable”, the voice echoed the same monotony.
Replacing the receiver, Neil found it hard to absorb what he confronted a few moments ago. It took Amir only a few seconds to pull himself out of a relation that spanned over a year and a half. ‘Unworkable’! True. However, to make it work, one needs to try, one needs to make an effort, one needs to care.
“ kuchh bhi na suna, kab ka tha gila?
Kaise keh dia . . alvida!”
Neil was flabbergasted. He could not believe what he had just heard. He sat in the dark, trying to figure-out what had just occurred. He was so bewildered by the suddenness that he went blank. His senses were paralyzed. He felt numb. The unexpected words of Amir dishonored his care towards him. Reality slapped him hard. He was silenced.
“ ab kehna aur kya?
Jab tune keh diya . . alvida!”
Neil’s helplessness gave its way and he broke down into violent sobs. Tears burnt down his cheeks. Memories flooded in, ushering in all those moments that they had spent together—moments so very bright, so very honest, and so very close.
“aage barh gaye humse raahon me
Par tum to abhi the yaheen!”
How was it possible for him not to be bothered for a second before taking a decision like this? How could he be so unperturbed? These questions became frequent in his gray cells.
“tumse hain khafa, hum naraaz hain;
Dil hain pareshaan:
Socha na suna, tune kyon bhala keh diya . . alvida?”
Frantic, Neil buried his face into the pillow, trying to mute his cries, but could not silence the cry of his soul. Call it optimism or immense despair, Neil could not fall for the fact that the phone call was real. He fancied this a nightmare, which would never be a reality. There would be a brighter tomorrow—tomorrow that would be just like yesterday, happy and in each other's company.
“hum the diljale, phir bhi dil kahe
Kaash mere sang aaj hote tum agar, hoti har dagar
Gulsita”
The gloominess was getting on to him. To put an end to this bleak hour, he dialed Amir’s number and waited. The call was about to be connected, when a sense of egotism descended upon him. Why should he call? What would he ask for—to get back? Why would he compel? Wouldn’t that be finding the middle ground, a compromise? He pressed the end button. A sentiment of snobbery forced Neil to hold himself back.
“sunle bekhabar, yoon aankhen pher kar
Aaj tu chali jaa:
Dhoondegi nazar, humko hi magar, har jagah—
Aisi raaton mein lekar karvate,yaad humein karna,
Aur phir haar kar, kehna kyon magar—
Keh diya . . alvida?”
Neil surrendered to the turn of events “jaane kis tarah, kis ghari?” and “chupke se kahin, dheeme pao se” bid farewell to his most beloved friend, unwilling though.
“Do un baahon ko, thhandi chhao ko
Hum bhi kar chale . . alvida!”

He closed his eyes and everything grew dim. What started mutually, ended in an unfair, one-sided behavior!